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Monday, September 19, 2011

Day 7 - Day 11 Blues

Day 7 - 10 have been a touch stressful with a sick baby, and two trays of brownies made by my mother.  I totally caved with the brownies, by the way.  They are the #1 enemy in my house, because I really can't say no to them.  Had a few talks with my mom about the brownie issue and she understands, but gives me the , why does she have to go without because I can't have them speech.  I know exactly how she feels about that, because currently, we are all trying to go "low carb" because Daniel's diabetes is getting out of control and really needs to focus on the healthier diet.  I hate going low carb, but I do it so he isn't tempted and so that he has a partner in this lifestyle.  I am not perfect with the low carb and have my moments when I prepare something inappropriate just like my mom did with the brownies. (Pumpkin cupcakes, hello!)  How can I expect her to change when I pull the same stunt with my husband?  This is going to be something I focus on this week. I am frustrated that this lifestyle is not an easy transition and feels like an uphill battle each and every day.  Does it ever get easier?

In other news, I haven't worked out in almost a week.  I stayed home from work on Thursday, because Holly and I were sick.  I didn't go to Slimmons that night, which was a good thing, because I ended up having to take Holly to the Urgent Care office that night.  She was fine the second we walked through the door and we got to go home soon after.  I stayed home with her again on Friday, which led into the weekend.  Saturday morning rolled around and after two whole days with the baby, I didn't want to leave her.  I decided I would just devote the rest of the weekend to her.  Again, another skipped Slimmons class.

Which brings me to the root cause of my blues this Monday morning, I just didn't want to go to work today and leave her.  I guess I have a touch of separation anxiety today. I miss her something terrible during the week.  5 days a week I work 8+ hours a day, and two of those days, I don't see her at all.  The weekends roll around and I miss half of Saturday with her because I go to Slimmons.  It breaks my heart not spending enough time with her.  But, I also need to do this so I can lose the weight so I have more time with her in the long run.  It also breaks my heart to see her to so attached to my mom and wants her to do everything for her/with her when I am home.  I know it is just because my mom is home during the day taking care of her, and it is what she is used to, but still.  It stings a little.  After being home with her for the past 4 days, she went back to wanting me all the time.  I loved it, even if it was short term. 

Are you still reading this?  I have babbled on for a while, so sorry about that.  I just wanted to get it off my chest.

PS - To fix my mom's sweet tooth, I found a low calorie option for her.  The pumpkin cupcakes Gina from posted last week.  They were low calories and delicious!  This was a sweet treat that I could have in the house and it not be much of a temptation for me and my husband.  We were easily able to control ourselves with these.  If you love pumpkin, you should try them.

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