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Saturday, April 2, 2011

Session #4 - Sort of

Today's session with the occupational therapist didn't go as planned.  I went to the appointment and weighed in, but we didn't have our typical session.  We had a big talk about what was going on with me this week instead.  Sat - Monday, I was still flying high from my 5lb weight loss and did great.  But Tuesday was another story.  I got hit with a new long term project at work that I am less than thrilled about.  As a result, I was pretty unhappy at work this week and I let it affect my eating, exercise, etc.  Basically, I comfort ate my way through Tuesday - Thursday.  On top of it all, Holly and I are fighting a head cold and she has been absolutely miserable this week.  She has been up at night, neither of us are sleeping well, and I think she is teething. She had many meltdowns this week and it just makes things 10x harder.

This week was the kind of week that I have had in the past and motivated me to try this occupational therapy program in the first place. 

I did recognize in this mess a few positive things:
1.)  In the past, I would have done a lot of binge eating on sweets, but didn't do so this week.  I did have a few desserts, but nothing like the bag of Oreo's or a tray of brownies that I would have had in the past.  In fact, I didn't really binge eat at all.  I just ate foods that are not the best choices, like my best friend, macaroni and cheese.

2.)  The slip up lasted 3 full days, instead of 3 weeks.  In the past I would have given up for either the rest of the week,

I snapped out of this funk on Thursday night.  I gave myself a little pep talk while in the shower Thursday night.  I washed away the sins of Tuesday - Thursday and went to bed knowing I would start fresh again on Friday.

The therapist gave me the option of weighing in today.  I wanted to face the music and go for it.  No reason to hide from what I did.....  Today's weigh in:  332.2 -No gain or loss.  I do know that as of my home scale on Monday morning before my self sabotage, I was down 4lbs.  So technically, I lost 4lbs, but gained them right back from my three days off program.  That sucked, but at least it wasn't an official gain.

At the end of every session, we usually map out goals for the next week.  My mom and sister arrive on Wednesday and I know that I will have an upside down routine next week when they get here.   The therapist suggested I take it easy on the goals for this week and try to just focus on one meal time, like lunches, for planning etc. 

It felt good going to the session today and unloading.  I didn't give her a chance to do much help, because I had already recognized what was wrong, how I was going to fix it, etc.  It was just nice to have that extra support.  It was also good to have a fresh examples of my challenges so she understood the triggers and how I react.  

4 comments:

  1. i completely relate to the desert things, although i had a bad night last night with a food item that is sweet, but not really a desert that i just kept eating. I had done well with my food all day, then just a complete self sabotage. in the past though i would just keep going. Thank fully I now have more awareness of my actions and can stop at least before my entire week is ruined.

    Making nightly posts also helps me to look at my day and choices, so i need to keep up! Its nice to see i am not alone with all this.

    you'll get back on tack : )

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  2. I'm always amazed when I see people who are on this journey and have children. I know how hard it can be to put yourself first, and I can't imagine how much harder that would be with children. Good job on everything, it's definitely progress!

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  3. I think this support and the chance to talk through your thinking, and actions is fantastic...its such a positive thing to have...and you are changing, not letting a bad week turn into a bad month but turning it around. I'm really looking forward to seeing where the next sessions go
    Dawn

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